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var saturdayQ;
var sundayQ;
var mondayQ;
var tuesdayQ;
var wednesdayQ;
var thursdayQ;
var fridayQ;


if (null==saturdayQ) saturdayQ = new Array();

saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It is not length of life, but depth of life.\"
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.\"
- - W C Fields
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.\"
- - Mark Twain
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It said \"Insert disk #3\", but only two will fit!\"
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.\"
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] ="
\"It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees.\"
- - Arabic proverb
"; saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] ="
\"It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.\"
"; if (null==sundayQ) sundayQ = new Array(); sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In the wildness is the preservation of the world.\"
- - Henry David Thoreau
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.\"
- - Lenny Bruce
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.\"
- - Thomas Jefferson
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In case of nuclear attack, the federal ruling banning prayer in schools will be cancelled. \"
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.\"
- - W.B. Prescott
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"Imagination is more important than knowledge.\"
- - Albert Einstein
"; sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"Ignorance and freedom are incompatible.\"
- - Thomas Jefferson
"; if (null==mondayQ) mondayQ = new Array(); mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If you don't know where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken.\"
- - Microsoft ad slogan, translated into Japanese
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
Humor in the Court - - Question: \"Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.\"
- - Robert Frost
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,\"Do you serve lawyers here?\"
\"Sure do,\" replied the bartender.\"Good,\" said the man. \"Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator.\"
"; mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If you rearrange the letters of: \"George Herbert Walker Bush\" you end up with: \"huge berserk rebel warthog\"
"; if (null==tuesdayQ) tuesdayQ = new Array(); tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Behold the warranty -- the large print giveth and the fine print taketh away.\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a clothing store: \"Bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a New York restaurant: \"Customers who find our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.\"
- - Robert Frost
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Humor in the Court: Question: \"Were you aquainted with the deceased?\" Answer: \"Yes, sir.\" Question: \"Before or after he died?\"
"; tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Posted on a shop in Maine: \"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.\"
"; if (null==wednesdayQ) wednesdayQ = new Array(); wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"The degree of technical confidence is inversely proportional to the level of management.\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a clothing store: \"Bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks\"
"; wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a Pennsylvania cemetery: \"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.\"
"; if (null==thursdayQ) thursdayQ = new Array(); thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Will you loan me $20.00 and only give me ten of it? That way, you will owe me ten, and I'll owe you ten, and we'll be even!\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
Humor in the Court - - Question: (Showing man picture.) \"That's you?\" Answer:
\"Yes, sir.\" Question: \"And you were present when the picture was taken, right?\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the authorities search you.\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. \"
- - Emerson
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.\"
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless\"
- - Sinclair Lewis
"; thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Of what you see in books, believe 75%. Of newspapers, believe 50%. And of TV news, believe 25%
-- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.\"
"; if (null==fridayQ) fridayQ = new Array(); fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
Sign in a florida maternity ward: \" No children allowed.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.\"
- - Confucius
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.\"
- - T.H. White
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Lavish spending can be disastrous. Don't buy any lavishes for a while.\"
"; fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Atlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.\"
";
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