var saturdayQ;
var sundayQ;
var mondayQ;
var tuesdayQ;
var wednesdayQ;
var thursdayQ;
var fridayQ;


if (null==saturdayQ) saturdayQ = new Array();

saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It is not length of life, but depth of life.\"
  -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
";
saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.\" 
 - - W C Fields
";

saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.\" 
 - - Mark Twain
";
saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"It said \"Insert disk #3\", but only two will fit!\"
";
saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] = "
\"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.\"
 -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
";
saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] ="
\"It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees.\"
  - - Arabic proverb
";
saturdayQ[saturdayQ.length] ="
\"It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.\"
";



if (null==sundayQ) sundayQ = new Array();

sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In the wildness is the preservation of the world.\"  
- - Henry David Thoreau
";
sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.\"  
- - Lenny Bruce
";
sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.\"  
 - - Thomas Jefferson
";
sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In case of nuclear attack, the federal ruling banning prayer in schools will be cancelled. \"
";
sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.\"  
- - W.B. Prescott
";
sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"Imagination is more important than knowledge.\"  
- - Albert Einstein
";
sundayQ[sundayQ.length] = "
\"Ignorance and freedom are incompatible.\"  
- - Thomas Jefferson
";

if (null==mondayQ) mondayQ = new Array();

mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If you don't know where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken.\"
 - - Microsoft ad slogan, translated into Japanese 
";
mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?\"
";
mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.\"
";
mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
 Humor in the Court - -  Question: \"Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?\"
";
mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.\"  
	- - Robert Frost 
";
mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,\"Do you serve lawyers here?\" 
 \"Sure do,\" replied the bartender.\"Good,\" said the man.  \"Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator.\"
";
mondayQ[mondayQ.length] = "
\"If you rearrange the letters of: \"George Herbert Walker Bush\" you end up with: \"huge berserk rebel warthog\"
";

if (null==tuesdayQ) tuesdayQ = new Array();

tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.\"
";
tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Behold the warranty -- the large print giveth and the fine print taketh away.\"
";
tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a clothing store: \"Bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks\"
";
tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a New York restaurant:  \"Customers who find our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.\"
";
tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.\"  
- - Robert Frost
";
tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
\"Humor in the Court: Question:  \"Were you aquainted with the deceased?\" Answer:  \"Yes, sir.\"  Question:  \"Before or after he died?\"
";
tuesdayQ[tuesdayQ.length] = "
Posted on a shop in Maine:   \"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.\"
";

if (null==wednesdayQ) wednesdayQ = new Array();

wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread.\"
";
wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.\"
";
wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear.\"
";
wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.\"
";
wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
\"The degree of technical confidence is inversely proportional to the level of management.\"
";
wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
 Sign in a clothing store:  \"Bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks\"
";
wednesdayQ[wednesdayQ.length] = "
Sign in a Pennsylvania cemetery:  \"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.\"
";

if (null==thursdayQ) thursdayQ = new Array();

thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Will you loan me $20.00 and only give me ten of it? That way, you will owe me ten, and I'll owe you ten, and we'll be even!\"
";
thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
Humor in the Court - - Question: (Showing man picture.) \"That's you?\" Answer: 
 \"Yes, sir.\" Question:  \"And you were present when the picture was taken, right?\"
";
thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the authorities search you.\"
";
thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. \"
- - Emerson 
";
thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.\"
";
thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless\"  
- - Sinclair Lewis
";
thursdayQ[thursdayQ.length] = "
\"Of what you see in books, believe 75%.  Of newspapers, believe 50%.  And of TV news, believe 25%
 -- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.\"
";

if (null==fridayQ) fridayQ = new Array();

fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
 Sign in a florida maternity ward: \" No children allowed.\"
";
fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.\"
";
fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.\"  
 - - Confucius 
";
fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.\"
";
fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.\" 
 - - T.H. White   
";
fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Lavish spending can be disastrous.  Don't buy any lavishes for a while.\"
";
fridayQ[fridayQ.length] = "
\"Atlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.\"
";